Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Cleanse + Long Run = Terrible Idea

I've been following various running blogs for about 2 years now. Many of them have included at least one (some many...SUAR) stories about "accidents" while running. Well, it's finally my turn to tell my tale.

On Saturday morning, I hopped out of bed, kissed my husband, and said, "I'm off for 6 miles, even though I should do 10." (MIL & FIL are in town and BIL was in-bound Saturday morning, so I was planning to cut it short.) He replied, "Don't be a puss." So what did I do? Of course, I changed my plan. Heading out on a 5 mile stretch just outside our neighborhood, I was feeling ok and managing an 8:16 pace. It's pertinent to mention at this point in the story that earlier in the week, Jason and I decided to do an herbal cleanse in an effort to recover from our European vacation. Without getting too graphic, over the last few days, I've been spending an increasing amount of time in the bathroom. I hit the turnaround and was still feeling good. 

Shortly after my RunKeeper App told me I'd completed 7 miles, I felt a sudden movement...NO I did not soil myself, but I came really close. I stopped my watch and searched for a place to take care of business. We live in a relatively rural area, and luckily there was a small stretch of woods I was able to climb into. Unfortunately, we live in Eastern NC (home to many, many pine trees), and the offering of pine needles wasn't providing a Charmin-like alternative. Thinking quickly, I dropped my shorts, and ended up using my underwear instead - the shorts have a lining thank goodness, so running commando was fine by me! While it wasn't a pleasant experience, I was feeling better, so I started running again.

No more than a mile later, disaster struck again. I was still 2 miles out and not about to give up one of my socks, so I changed my route and tried to get into a local volunteer fire station in search of a toilet. I pounded the windows and doors to no avail and once again, found myself among a small strip of trees:

Notice how you can see STRAIGHT THROUGH the "woods!" Lucky me:) I ended up finding a few dry leaves and relieved myself for the second time in an hour and a half. I finally arrived home to be greeted by my FIL. I said, "I had a bit of a situation. Let's just say, I'm no longer in possession of my underwear and I need to take a shower." 

So it's official...I Run, Therefore, I Am is an official running blog, complete with our very own poop story!

Now, what's your story?!